A Page Out of My Journal

"Deny Self" 9-4-07

"This is one of the only requirements that you made to follow you - deny myself, take up my cross and follow you (Mark 8:34). How does one live on the narrow road in Matthew 7:13 that always leads away from self - my road tends to lead me straight back to me. How do I get off this train wreck of self-gratification? How do I reflect everything to you in this very selfish culture? I want to submerge - no, I want to drown myself in you - dying to my self - and brought back to life with the true mark of one of your followers - self denial. So much to die to - my fears, my pride, my stubbornness, my "I can do it" attitude, my selfish desires. Could this dying to self be the home of joy? Does that fruit of the Spirit called joy live in this land of denying self? If so, I am ready, I am ready to dive in to the pool of denying self. I am ready to drown my selfishness and rescue my life of joy by taking up my cross, denying my self, and following You! Here I go - one, two, three - splash!"